Oh, the world is dark

[berriedmemories]

WHO: The XVs mostly
WHAT: figuring out timeline bullshit and living arrangements
WHERE: A set of cottages by the river
WHEN:end of 2024
WARNINGS: blanket CW for depression (Noctis), suicidal ideation (Ardyn, Cor, Ravus), and general PTSD from a bunch of men that've been through hell. See subject lines for specifics

SUMMARY: The gang's all here and then some! Now what? What do you mean you don't remember..... anything I expect you to? Bahamut did what now?

Comments

Fleuret Fetch Quest

[parer]

The morning starts out quite simply: as usual, and then with Noctis finally rousing himself from bed to sleepily inquire to all of them just where Ravus might be.

Which, good question. It has not escaped Ignis's notice that, in his journeys out into town for food and the like, he has not seen hide nor hair of the Tenebraen Prince now made Niflheim Commander. Gladio makes a similar claim.

It is from Prompto that it is let slip just where the man was seen last - somewhere in the woods.

Now, perhaps one might assume that this was simply a coincidental meeting, and that Ravus was there for some other reason. That there may be no guarantee he is in the woods again.

Ignis knows better.

That blasted idiot is living in the woods about town.

From there, things proceed naturally. Ignis encourages Noctis to eat a good breakfast along with his medication (retrieved from Charlie). Then, while that is happening, with Prompto there to encourage him... Ignis takes Gladio into the woods to search for the asinine fool who hasn't even had the decency to find a house to live in.

Hopefully Ravus isn't doing anything important, because Ignis certainly won't care.

Depending on just how hard or easy Ravus makes it for himself, he is then dragged back to the house. Perhaps even in time for some leftovers from breakfast, if he hasn't made things take too long. Either way... Ignis imagines that Noctis will be waiting for him regardless.

Seek and Find

[errant_knight]

Days pass strangely. There's an emptiness to them that fills the pit of his stomach with a leaden weight of dread. It kills his appetite entirely, makes the rations he took from the market taste like ash. But moreover, it leaves him with too many thoughts. Ravus doesn't ultimately know what to do with them, morose as they are. A void he can't fill, that asks, ‘what now?’

What now indeed?

He finds himself at the edge of the riverbank, as far from Town as the invisible magic allows. He's carefully tested it to the very inch of where it turns him around. Far away to be with his thoughts and the small tasks of living, and yet it doesn't help alleviate the gnawing emptiness of his mind. At least those tasks occupy his hands. For now, he sits along the river bank, carefully cleaning his coat and greaves as best he can with what he has.

Slow, simply motions to not damage the leather, working a rag under the metal rivets, decidedly not letting his mind wander beyond his task lest the yawning dread fill him more.

At least until there's sound from behind him. Nothing loud, nothing distinct, just motion in the underbrush. An animal maybe. But what would bother approaching other than a predator?

Ravus reaches for the scabbard of his sword, and shifts to stand with the blade drawn. Odd eyes fixate on the direction where he thinks he heard the noise; the brush is thick enough he can't make out much among the mass of foliage shapes. But there's more than just beasts out here. And while he'd like to have his coat and armor on if it comes to a fight, he's not willing to take the time or turn his back when something is so near. So he simply leers, and hopes any beast caught in the act will be smart enough to realize he's no easy meal.

[parer]

Fortunately for Ravus, it is not a wild beast.

Unfortunately for Ravus, it is not a wild beast.

Frankly speaking, if Ignis really wanted to just corner the man, he's positive that he could jump him quite neatly. Ravus is a man meant for up front combat, a knight in every meaning of the word... and while Ignis has no doubt in his own battle prowess, it's mostly reliant on not getting hit long enough to take out someone's tends or poison them. He does better, in his professional opinion, with assassinations.

(In the future, he will be quite pleased about being able to combat Ravus face to face. In another future, one that may or may not come to pass, he'll take no small pride in being able to best Ardyn once the table is made neatly balanced.)

However, while he does want to corner the man... It's for his own good. And for that reason, Ignis makes sure he and Gladio announce their presence quietly as they approach his position, a good moment before Ignis steps out from the brush.

"Last I checked, one didn't need to go this far out from the town to do their laundry."

[errant_knight]

The surprise is plainly written in the fact he doesn't immediately jump to action. He stares, blinking owlishly at the fact Ignis and Gladio are here. Why though? It's as Ignis says, there's hardly a reason to be this far out for something like laundry, but is there a reason to be this far out at all? Other than to be away from people, Ravus has no answer. It makes sense for him, outsider that he is. But for them?

Ravus doesn't quite let the tension out of his shoulders. Nor does he put away his weapon. There's a needling thought in his mind, stitching together pieces he doesn't necessarily like. Perhaps, with time to ruminate on it, the fall of Insomnia was too much to let him escape for. He would understand, he does understand. Even if he doesn't wish to think so of someone he calls friend.

But why announce himself then? Ravus exhales a sigh. He's not about to sort this without asking, he thinks.

“To be undisturbed one might. But I see that it hasn't been nearly as successful as I hoped. But I also doubt you've come to do the same. So what is it you're here for?"

[parer]

That the sword is still held up even in some capacity is proof enough that Ravus is on edge. That their last conversation contributed to that. And, for a moment, Ignis does think on that. On knowing exactly how he will lose his home, through what machinations and mistakes.

There's still a sting, in his chest. Just thinking about it. And a question, as well.

What circumstances have lead to their friendship?

Then again, in many ways, he thinks he can see how it would be very easy. It hasn't escaped him, now that he's had time to settle down from the world-ending news, how similar he and Ravus are. Goals of theirs that he could share easily enough.

So he takes in that weapon for just a moment before striding out from the bush, confident and smooth. "You, clearly," he says matter of fact, before wrinkling his nose down at the sword. "Now put that thing away. It is no way to have a civilized conversation, especially one in which you are being invited to breakfast."

[errant_knight]

In a not-so-far-away future, back on their star, Ignis will one day know the evaluating look Ravus sets him with both there and here. One where his gaze doesn't waver at all from meeting those severe greens. Nothing so cold as gauging for worth (he already knows; he already knew), but of deciding to throw relative safety to the wind, and trust him. For Ravus, it's only been a few days, but he supposes he's ready to do it all again.

The silver straightens up some, rolling back his shoulders to shed the tension in them before sheathing his sword.

"Once more, you surprise me." It's half-murmured, some form of exasperated fondness, before he speaks up properly. "By what strange manner of fate am I being invited to breakfast of all things? I expected an escort to the grave, first and foremost."

[parer]

Later, he will likely ruminate over that simple action of a sword being sheathed. What it means for men at war, men who lose everything, men with no allies that they can realize at first.

Right now, he stays on topic, crossing his arms as he begins a slow measured step just a bit more around Ravus than coming directly at him as he had before.

"You would be dramatic as to think on an execution first, despite us all being in a place far away from home," he comments. "However, all of us were having a rather normal chat this morning, you see, when we realized something." Or, rather, Noctis pulled it out into the open and they all got to deal with it plainly. "It was realized further when I asked about town."

The slow circle begins to get a little tighter.

"You see, despite it being repeatedly mentioned both in our arrival and then, I know for certain, a conversation between you and I on how there are many empty buildings available for all of us who have newly arrived... No one had ever seen you in any of them. Truly, very few had ever seen you about town in general. Now, that is rather odd, isn't it? We are not a large community. One would think it rather easy to know who has moved where at this point. I even asked the resident baker - a man I know from prior interactions to be quite nosy and knowledgeable about people in his community - and it seemed as though he had not seen you about either."

Those sharp green eyes rake Ravus over, both in general and across the coals.

"So where have you been living, Ravus Nox Fleuret?"

[errant_knight]

"Dramatic, am I?" Ravus watches that slow, methodical circle. Predatory, for all Ignis assures him that his head isn't on the chopping block. No, Ravus doesn't think anything so neat as the headsman's axe is coming for him. Not when this young, spitting image of a shark going 'round its prey keeps talking, drawing ever closer.

Closer and closer, Ravus watching him with a hand on his hip, and his head cocked in the perfect display of dramatics he's been accused of. But who can blame him for his thoughts? Paranoia has gotten him further in life than most other perceptions of people. And really, Ignis must know the picture he paints. There's nothing about this trap he's waxing on about that's subtle or unintentional.

And then there's the shark's bite right at the end, the damning question that vices down on his throat. Ravus can't quite meet his eyes.

With a great sigh, Ravus broadly gestures to the surrounding forest. It's quite scenic, if anyone were to ask him. Beautiful, and so very away from people. People he's hurt. People he thinks he's hurt enough.

"Here and there," is what he says, before setting that hand back on his hip. "The woods offer serenity, and solitude." Not much in the way of human comforts, but somehow it hadn't felt right to make a home of one of the empty cottages. "There was hardly a need to bother anyone about me, let alone your ever-so-nosy neighbor. I made myself gone, as suggested. I cannot go further; I have already tried."

[parer]

Oh, the absolute tit idiot.

"Who on earth asked you to go?" Ignis asks, eyes narrowing as he goes straight towards the front of the other man - neatly cutting off his access to the water and not caring if small bits of spray or such get on the edges of his pants. "When I said as much, I know you were well aware that I was asking you to only leave the premises so that Noctis could catch his breath. There was nothing in my request about you going off to live in the woods."

Despite appearing as a weedy little thing still in comparison to the very built military commander before him, there is zero hesitation as he crosses his arms and leans directly into Ravus's space.

"And to do so as the air gets colder, and food will become scarce in the wild? You are acting the fool, Ravus. I expected better of you. At least in the realm of sensibility."

[berriedmemories]

Noctis doesn't want to ambush the guy the moment he walks through the door. Especially when he's not sure where he's been or what he may have been in the middle of when Ignis and Gladio decided to drag him off. So he gives them a few minutes, lingering by the stairs until Ravus gets deposited on the couch whether he likes it or not.

Then, very quickly, he has a Noct plopped onto the couch next to him, pressed up against his side, already leaning on his shoulder. He couldn't rid himself of the sullen tone even if he tried and he doesn't much care to put in the effort.

"You left."

[errant_knight]

He feels a bit like a dog being told to sit and stay, but rather like one, he is obedient. He's only just starting to consider what he's meant to do beyond this when finally the little shadow by the stairs decides to move.

Ravus suspects there will be- Well, not Noctis immediately leaning on him. There's a surprised sound low in his throat, confusion welling up as if he means to ask why. But he doesn't quite get there. Not before the sulky prince half-accuses, half-pouts about him leaving.

"I was told it would be best to leave for a time. I... I simply did not know when that time would change." Or rather, Ravus didn't think it would ever change. That there simply wouldn't be time enough to ever heal that wound. If it could heal at all. Ravus himself isn't sure he quite believes the saying as it is.

[berriedmemories]

Noct only frowns harder, then sighs and lets himself fully slump against Ravus. "It's weird, isn't it? Him being so young. He's bound to make some mistakes dealing with all of us at different ages." Because of course it would have been Ignis that told him to leave. Prompto would never dare and while it could have been Gladio he didn't think there'd be an amendment of for now in that case.

"Give him a break okay?" And, of course, stay. That part's implied but seems like it should be obvious.

[errant_knight]

"There's no break to give. I do not blame him in the slightest. If anything, I've been shown too much grace as is." Ravus sighs, but doesn't move Noctis at all. He's a warm, comfortable weight against his side. And after a moment of uncertainty, Ravus gently sets an arm around his shoulders.

"I'm still getting used to that, too. For whatever reason you all seem fit to decide upon." Misguided pity? Bleeding hearts? Ravus doesn't know. It's all impossible to fathom, from a well of poison he's yet to break the surface of.

[berriedmemories]

"Too much grace?" Noct repeats, leaning away from Ravus slightly so he can look up at the silver with a look that clearly says Noct thinks he's being ridiculous. "It was going to happen sooner or later. You were just trying to save your sister." He sighs, shrugging slightly as he leans back into Ravus' side.

"Even if... things fell apart. You're family, y'know? Unofficial brother-in-law or whatever." He nudges the other man in the ribs a little with his elbow, gently teasing. "Where are you even staying? It took them an awful long time to track you down."

[errant_knight]

Family.

Ravus feels like time comes to a grinding halt in that moment. Just a second too long of holding his breath, frozen by such a simple word. Family. The thing that's been taken from him again and again, in ever more cruel ways. Until he's been left all alone.

Yet Noctis says it so easily, like it's a given. They're family. Somehow, despite everything, time resumes only when he realizes he's perhaps crushed Noctis up against his side a little too tightly in that brief instant. Like he might slip away forever if he lets go. As his family seems to do.

"I..." But what can he say to that? What can he possibly say that won't cheapen the sentiment, or destroy it altogether? So instead of words, Noctis is going to be find himself properly tugged into Ravus' arms, held fast against his broad chest.

"The woods," he says after a long moment, and exhales a sigh overtop Noctis' head. "I've already been lectured, rest assured."

[berriedmemories]

Ravus likely doesn't notice in that moment but Noctis wheezes out a playful breath when his grip tightens. It takes a moment for him to register how deeply he's affected the other man but once he does it's not hard to put together why. After losing his mom and now his sister... who did he have left? It makes his heart ache when he really thinks about it and when Ravus does finally seem to come back to himself Noctis helps Ravus arrange him however he likes, leaning against his chest and giving Ravus a small squeeze in return.

"The woo-?!" Noct cuts himself off at the reassurance that Ignis (and Gladio, no doubt) have ripped him a new one for that bullshit. He huffs out a breath but doesn't continue to harp on him about it, he knows how it feels to screw up and have everyone around you jump on the chance to reiterate how and why you fucked up. "Well. I'm glad you're here now, at least."

Then he sighs, looking up at Ravus for a moment before glancing away once more. "I used to daydream about it, you know?" Soft, a quiet almost embarrassed admission. "You and Luna... if she hadn't pulled away. If we'd have been able to get you guys out with us... where you would have stayed, if Dad would've let me and Luna have our rooms next to each other. All the things I could've shown you in Insomnia. Especially... before I could really get out of the chair I just-" A weak shrug and a shake of his head. It's all childish fantasies, he knows that, but he'd wanted it so much.

"I missed you guys a lot."

[errant_knight]

There's enough dull, droning buzz in Ravus' head at this point that he knows he's missing words here and there. Noctis cuts himself off, but Ravus was braced for more, and the lack of that added noise to process is such a relief. The sharp cut of his shoulders slumps into an exhausted slope, even as he practically curls around the younger prince.

Ravus feels the words more than hears them. The sentiment of what could have been, and Ravus can't lie and say he hasn't had dreams of a life not wasted in the blood and dirt of a traitorous existence. Fantasies he's pushed away time and again, refused to let them hurt him. Refused to lose by not playing that game at all. Even if Lunafreya's forlorn wishing for just one more glimpse of her dear friend was a reminder of the broken pieces Ravus had been cutting his hands on for years.

But he should stop bleeding on this, he thinks. He's liable to make it Noctis' problem if he keeps letting the thoughts vibrate endlessly in his head. So much noise. Too much. It's easier to lay his cheek against the mess of dark hair, and rumble a low, affirmative sound until he trusts his voice to be steady.

"I know how dearly she missed you as well. I... I tried not to let such thoughts in as best I could. Distractions. Longing I could not channel into any means." Cutting out all the parts that didn't serve his goal, that didn't let him cling to the narrative of his hatred.

Bullying, Round 2

[swordlily]

Gladio had, of course, let Iggy take the lead once they found Ravus. It had never been in question; in fact, it was something he and Iggy hadn't even discussed, hadn't needed to discuss. As soon as they'd arrived, Iggy had gone for Ravus like a heat-seeking missile, and Gladio had stood back, a hand on his hip, and simply enjoyed the show.

An older Iggy would have known this is how it would go; Gladio admittedly doesn't know if this younger Iggy knew how it was going to go down in advance, or if he was simply so focused and incensed that he'd gone right into what he'd intended to do without a thought to what Gladio might be doing in the meanwhile. It's not really that important. But Gladio understands his boyfriend; he knows Iggy is better at taking a man apart with words than Gladio could ever be at taking someone apart with a weapon. He also knows that when someone is being, as Iggy might put it, a silly bugger about something mundane and yet still critically important, such as self-care, Iggy's opinions on the matter are quite strong and need venting. Standing between him and his target would be like standing in front of a charging laser.

Besides, watching Iggy when he's at his most intense is always a hell of a rush. Honestly, it's a fight to stay on task and not get too turned on.

Eventually, once Ravus has been verbally savaged into submission - perhaps he's still putting up some resistance, but Gladio knows the matter is already settled even if Ravus doesn't - and Iggy is no doubt figuring out who to communicate with and what arrangements need to be made for their new housemate, Gladio sidles up to Ravus. "You seriously thought we were here to kill you?" he asks, in a tone that's more amused than incredulous.

Re: Bullying, Round 2

[errant_knight]

Ravus thinks he's being given an ounce of reprieve from the verbal savaging, but apparently Gladio has other plans. Of course, Ignis damn-near putting his blood in the water has attracted the second half of the pair.

There's a tired sigh from the silver, and he barely has the energy to raise his head and give Gladio a flat look.

"Naturally. Why that is so unbelievable, I cannot understand. I presume he told you why I left in the first place? Surely you understand the gravity of it. And just why none of this absolution makes any sense. You should hate me. You all should hate me."

[swordlily]

"For what? Suggesting the Empire attack Insomnia? The last holdout of the nation they were already trying to conquer anyway? Suggesting they do it under peaceful pretenses, which would let them get close to the king who maintained the wall so they could take it out?" Gladio cocks an eyebrow at him as he sits down beside him. "Oh, yeah, how awful of you to suggest the obvious course of action they were almost definitely going to take anyway, with or without you. It's hardly great that you were so eager to play a part in it that you were offering suggestions, but I'm not dumb enough to believe for a second that you were ever the deciding factor. Hell, your plan was so basic that I'm surprised they didn't dress it up more.

"I think the only reason anyone in Insomnia ever believed the Empire was serious about the treaty is because they just...hoped there was any other way out. That a violent takeover wasn't really coming." Gladio looks broodily into the forest for a moment. "...but there was never really any other way it could have gone. Insomnia was on its last legs, and everyone knew it, however much in denial we might've been. The Empire was going to kick them out from under us one way or another, sooner or later. And people just had to try and live their day-to-day lives, waiting for the boot to drop right on their necks.

"King Regis knew. My father knew, probably. I assume the whole council knew. He used your plan as a cover to get Noct and the rest of us away from Insomnia, away from the Empire. To try and give Noct, and Eos, the best chance he could with the last options he had. If it had gone down another way, maybe things would've ended up even worse. Who knows."

Gladio turns his focus back to Ravus. "The point is, if you really think you're somehow personally responsible for Insomnia's fall just because you came up with the most obvious backstabbing ruse in the world, you're giving yourself way too much credit. You guys didn't fool anyone, you were let into the Citadel with everyone you betrayed already knowing you were going to betray them, and if you hadn't been part of it, the Empire would've done just as much or worse without you. You were a cog in a machine that was going to destroy us no matter what you did. Even if we wanted to be mad at you, what would be the point? And how much more choice did you have than any of us?"

[errant_knight]

"The course of the plan may not matter, but the intent?" Ravus doesn't look up from where he focuses on the river pebbles at his feet. "You forgive my willingness to lead the warpath straight to your door? Even if the course was ordained, does it absolve me of paving it?"

Ravus shifts his legs, drawing one up to his chest to rest his chin on his knee. Loosely, he circles his arm around his bent leg, and sighs quietly. It seems to deflate him with it, the exhaustion properly plain in every slanted line of muscle.

"I don't rightly know what the point would be, other than raw justification. My choices were never much choices at all. Options, rather. Of one hell or another: Lunafreya's or mine. And so even those options became nothing more than treads I could not stray from. Anything I could do to protect her, from the prophecy or the empire. By the time of Insomnia's fall, I had run out of all other recourse. There was naught left but to try to remove the prophecy altogether. The Empire was too insatiable to wait."

[swordlily]

"If you had actually paved it, made it easier or more effective in some way, maybe I'd be more upset about it." Gladio shrugs. "But from where I'm standing, I don't see how the outcome would've been any different if you'd just stayed in your room back at the Empire reading the whole time, except that you'd have two whole arms. You're a good fighter, sure, but one man in a full-scale invasion isn't going to make that outsized of a difference unless he takes down key players on the other side - and if you'd killed the king or my father personally, I'm pretty sure you'd have owned up to that already."

He eyes Ravus. "As for willingness...you said it yourself. You had some options, and none of them were better than the one you took. In the interests of destroying a prophecy that we're all suffering from, and all of us have also wanted to subvert. And you aren't the only one forced to make miserable choices that sacrificed innocent people because of that damn prophecy, either. The only difference is that King Regis made his hard calls trying to keep the prophecy alive. Although from what I understand from the Marshal, that's just because he worked for most of Noct's life to find a way around the prophecy and couldn't." He shakes his head. "I don't necessarily like the choices he made, but at the same time, if he felt like his only choices were to keep a prophecy meant to save the world alive, or let it die, and he couldn't find a third option after decades of searching, I can't blame him for choosing the option that could save the whole world - even if it means letting a lot of people die on the way. He had to live the trolley problem, and he pulled the lever."

[errant_knight]

"Nothing would have stopped them. If anything, I think they might have been disappointed with something less destructive. Iedolas was... changed. Unrelenting, frantic almost. Easier by my suggestion or not, I wasn't the tipping of the scales." Ravus shakes his head. Under Drautos' wing, as a prince made prisoner among them, there'd been a certain amount of it all he'd been allowed to see. Nothing to make a difference, but enough to see that over the years the old emperor's demeanor had slid into madness. That he'd praised Ravus' suggestion of the coup had been almost surprising.

At the mention of Regis, Ravus drags his gaze away again, mismatched blue and violet falling to the river pebbles once more. He could make the excuse that the delicate sheen of the river spray on their edges is distracting, but he doubts that would hold up under scrutiny.

"What one can be driven to do to protect their family is both admirable and horrifying. I... I wish I could say I would do less in hindsight, but just as nothing could stop the Empire, nothing could stop those instincts in me." While much of his anger for Regis has found a way to vent from him, there are pangs of his hurts that still remain. Even after speaking with him. Of finding out truths he refused to acknowledge, familiarity wants to cling to him like acid on his skin. At least now, he can agree with Gladio on that matter of his choices about Insomnia.

"We all do what we think we must, at the moment it is thrust upon us. I suppose if you choose not to hate me for that, I have no right to tell you how to feel. But... what now? Ignis insisted I return with you, yes, but what comes after? Is that really what you all desire?"

[swordlily]

"Noct is the one who asked after you in the first place, if that's what you mean. He was downright distressed when he dragged himself out of his reaction enough to realize you weren't around. As for the rest of us - I had conversations with both Iggy and Prom about you needing support, maybe staying with us. We're all on the same page already." He cocks an eyebrow at Ravus. "And all worried about you. So probably what happens now is, we go home, and Iggy cooks us all dinner. And you eat everything on your plate, unless you want more lectures for dessert."

[errant_knight]

Ravus could say he's surprised to hear that. After what he's done, what he's taken from Noctis. After failing Lunafreya. But he's always been too soft. Ravus has known that about the sensitive boy that came to his family all those years ago.

"Ignis thought he might, but even though I believed him, I thought perhaps this would be too much still." A maybe, but Ravus hasn't been holding onto hope for... anything, really, since arriving here. Hasn't even thought to reach for it.

But the others? Not a chance... right?

"I don't-" Ravus insists, or rather, he tries. He doesn't need support, whatever that entails. He's managed so far, hasn't he? But the exhaustion is heavier than his pride, and he doesn't even bother finishing what would amount to a poor defense anyway. "I don't understand why you all would worry about me. But I think I am not meant to at this point. I am not certain it can be explained to me in ways I've yet learned." Ravus exhales a defeated sigh. He probably should put up more of a fight, should tell them they're wasting their time or making a mistake, but he's so damned tired. Tired, and if he could be honest with himself, lonely.

"Just like that, then? You bleeding-heart Lucians will bring home any stray." It's a fangless little bite back, the last of his will to fight for his misplaced pride.