what you're given, what you live in

[fatedfinality]

Darling, it finds a way to live in you

Who: Ardyn & You
What: A catch-all log for Ardyn and the various shit he's bound to get up to outside of events (so: quests, misc. interactions, etc.)
Where: All around Town
When: The last months of 2024

Warnings: Blanket warnings for suicidal ideation, self-harm tendencies, alcoholism, and others that will be specific to the threads and noted in the subject line!

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Comments

[errant_knight]

If it’s not what Ardyn expects to hear, then it’s certainly not what comes next that Ravus expects either. There was so little about his time in Niflheim that was a choice, and yet he’s always been made to carry it as if it had been. A traitor to his own, abandoning his home and his people. An outsider, unworthy of his station, undeserving of his place. As if he’d chosen to be in that cage, and not locked within. The fact it’s Ardyn acknowledging that too- well, he’s learning a lot about the other man, isn’t he?

“I’d feel strange saying you’re welcome for such, given I intentionally kept myself guarded from anyone.” Again, not by choice so long as he needed to survive. Still, Ravus can’t help but wonder if he missed something… kinder for it. Like this. “But I am glad to give it now. Who would have ever guessed I’d have my honor defended in a bar of all things.”

Once he helps Ardyn up, Ravus takes a moment to dust down his rumpled collar, and generally fusses over him as much as is acceptable on a public street.

“But I do think we might wish to avoid another scene. We’ll find somewhere to stay and get cleaned up.” He glances at the blood splashed on his collar, and that’s not even acknowledging there’s still smears of it on Ardyn’s face and chest. “Perhaps a private dinner might be a better option for the rest of our date.”

He looks as if he means to leave it there. Perhaps to start looking for an inn or lodge, as that’s the logical next step. Only, Ravus hesitates to step back from Ardyn. He lingers, gaze intense, but focused as if his attention is entirely inwards. Finally, those mismatched eyes snap to his date’s, and Ravus leans in to tilt Ardyn’s head with his claws. He presses a chaste, but meaningful kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“I mean this sincerely- thank you.”

[fatedfinality]

It is a bit strange, isn't it? Back home, Ardyn can't say he would have been willing to ever extend any sort of true kindness on his part either. He liked Ravus for his connections to The Oracle, the information those letters to his sister gave him, and how he could use him. He'd never really considered the man beyond that like he has here; he also does mean that too though, he acknowledges. That he's been grateful for the opportunity to here.

"Walls are built so others can't scale them. Unfortunately, walls alone can't discern from good and bad. That's up to us, but..." Hm. How to word it? "Sometimes it's just easier to mistrust everyone, just in case." He's talking about Ravus, but that could also apply to him. Without the stakes of everything and being beholden to fate? He doesn't want to grow too soft - just in case, as mentioned - lest they go home and have to put back on the same tracks. But maybe, with enough time, Ardyn too could allow some people to scale those walls regardless.

Eventually. Maybe. He'll see.

It does make it easier to consider as an option when he's fussed over so. Reminiscent of a time long ago, when someone else would care for him in ways he didn't care for himself. "That suits me just fine, really, though that's-" He had been starting to talk and lead the charge again as he's wont to do. While he figured Ravus was done and just staring at him to see what the next move was, he couldn't have fathomed that move would be from Ravus himself. "That's..." He tries again, but trails off.

It's not often that Ardyn is taking genuinely by surprise anymore, but he is in this moment. It shows briefly in the subtle way his eyes widen and eyebrows raise as he processes that he was just kissed. A sharp contrast, notably, to the first kiss they exchanged prior and how he'd teased and taunted. (It's probably him who looks rather teasable, honestly, a little dumbstruck.)

It only lasts a moment though before he's clearing his throat and trying to regain some semblance of control in the situation. "You're welcome. But don't thank me too soon, if we still have more date to go. I can promise I won't get into another bar fight, but who knows what other trouble I might get into yet." There! There, that's appropriately theatrical and redirecting.

[errant_knight]

Ravus blinks, seemingly surprised to have that aspect of himself understood so readily. He’s rather used to the misgivings he treats most with met with either hostility, or useless optimism to give people a chance. Until so recently, it hadn’t been an option, though few could understand just how dire that cold truth had been for him. But Ardyn was there, too. Maybe he did understand as deeply as his words might seem to convey. Ravus holds his breath a moment, and when he exhales, he decides he must have made the right choice then, in trusting Ardyn with this chance. It feels right, anyway.

Especially when it seems he catches Ardyn by surprise too. There’s a satisfaction in it that almost makes him purr. What comes out is a bit of a huff, though there’s contentment in the way Ravus straightens himself to his full height, and looks as though he doesn’t mind the idle threat of more chaos altogether. He’s not having a bad time, despite the setback. After he smooths down Ardyn’s collar properly, Ravus steps back from his fussing.

“Let us at least avoid more bloodshed. I fear white fur may have been a mistake.” Again, he glances at the collar of his coat, grimacing. He hopes settling at an inn will provide less opportunity for such. So he takes Ardyn by the wrist, and follows the road closer towards the edge of town, where they might find traveller’s posts.

If his fingers press into Ardyn’s palm a bit, a silent, subtle offer to hold, then Ravus makes no mention of it, and keeps his eyes forward. No one could call him a coward, but this is all new territory in so many ways. Understanding where boundaries and permissions lay unspoken doesn’t come naturally to him. Even if Ardyn’s already kissed him, been kissed by him, and bit a man for him.

Speaking of… Ravus doesn’t switch his gaze, but he does speak in that gentler tone he prefers when not playing the High Commander. “I am curious though. You said once you’d had your charms. Was that back there part of them?” Not necessarily the biting people part, but the protective, possessive edge.

[fatedfinality]

"I know how to get that out," he offers, which- Of course, he knows how to wash out blood. That can't even be a surprise.

He wishes he could promise he'd do whatever possible to prove that he deserved that chance. Wishing never got him very far though, honestly. He's also not in the habit of giving promises that aren't hollow. Still, there is some part of him that does hope he doesn't make Ravus regret giving him this second chance... and a dragon in his brain smacking him with the mental equivalent of a wet noodle at nearly every turn to try and ensure it as well.

"Oh, well," he starts, back to his faux exaggerated humility. "To some, maybe." Aera didn't often need his protecting. In fact, it was usually him who found protection in her during his darker times. He only regretted it in the end when she protected him one final time; he was her undoing, in so many ways but that's one he'll never truly forgive himself for. So, now maybe he over corrected and battles fiercely for those he wants to. And for a long time, the only person he wanted to fight for was himself.

The nudge of fingers against his palm is a silent, pleasant thing for him. He responds in kind by not only allowing but lacing his own fingers lightly against Ravus'. It is a bit unnerving, he knows, and uncertain. For as demonstrative and commanding as he could be when necessary, well... It is easier to be led like this than anything.

"Being prone to passionate fits of emotion isn't always charming, but when it is- It apparently really is." At least he has that going for him somehow.

[errant_knight]

Ravus nods. While fastidious, he's always mitigated blood stains on his typical white Tenebraen raiment by simply maintaining the leather's coating, or in various armor that could simply be washed down. His furs in Niflheim rarely saw combat. After all, none had ever breached the dark crater that housed the capital in anything but small, insignificant numbers. And while he'd trained under Drautos, he'd never been allowed the colors of Tenebrae. Not until he'd well earned his place among the higher officers. Black and red easily hid blood.

More importantly though, Ardyn takes the offer to hold his hand. Ravus is just glad to be slightly ahead of him so perhaps the deep flush that colors his cheeks isn't so obvious at this angle. Really, it shouldn't effect him so much, but it's these small, sweet gestures that strike him so effectively. Ravus is a man of grand romance, all culminations of such tender gestures. It's hard not to be moved by them, swept up in something as soft as holding hands.

"I don't mind," Ravus says about the emotional outbursts. He's always been a man ruled by his heart, not matter how much he's tried to close it off. How could he ever judge someone for acting so powerfully on their own hearts too? Everything he's ever done in life has been a labor of love, after all. It's not always worked out, but none could ever accuse Ravus of being untrue or dishonest to his feelings. What he loves, he will die for. And what he hates, he will kill for. Simple extremes. He can appreciate Ardyn's too, he thinks.

"While I encourage you not to have us banned from most of the town... I... It did feel nice to be defended. I've not considered what it might be like to be on the receiving end of it before. So, yes, I'll consider it charming. I think you should as well." Ravus glances to him with a bit of a wry slant to his lips, and yes, still a bit of that blush as well.

[fatedfinality]

It isn't as obvious, no, but it's obvious to please Ardyn once he catches that hint of red. Desire was one mortal indulgence that he may be realizing he missed more than he wanted to admit during all that transpired back on Eos. It's still something he's getting used to feeling again, honestly, and what it all might mean in the long-term.

Or if it means anything. He doesn't want to get his hopes too high up there, naturally, after a lifetime of disappointment. Against his better judgement though, he does take this as a good thing. And against his even better judgement, he does wonder what it might mean for their future. When was the last time he even considered a future beyond what was planned? Hm.

"Well, that's reassuring since... I can't promise it won't happen again." He wouldn't want it to either, admittedly, but can't say that. "Though I can try and avoid it happening in a crowded bar going forward." Even if Ravus did enjoy being defended, Ardyn can acknowledge that wasn't completely defense of the other man as it was partly his own pride. So it's a bit more difficult to consider it 'charming' still, but- He can appreciate the effort for it to be framed as such.

"And while I know you're more than capable of defending yourself, never be afraid to call on me to again if necessary."

[errant_knight]

For Ravus, there isn’t really a ceiling for something like hope. He’s had to pretend it can’t exist when fighting a millennium of damning prophecy in the hopes of saving his sister in just the span of their mortal lives. So he doesn’t really consider where Ardyn is placing his own bets, even when he rebukes the idea of promising things. He takes it as honesty instead of disparaging caution. If that damns either of them later, the thought doesn’t cross him.

“I’m still getting used to having anyone to call upon. Forgive me if it doesn't come naturally,” he says shrugging the mechanical shoulder. But he’s asked Ardyn for his honest effort, so Ravus thinks it only fair to do the same. “Though you seem content to thrive in chaos, so perhaps I will do so more often, if only to provide enrichment.”

Is he teasing? Maybe. Ravus’ tone is as serious and staunch as ever where anyone else would have probably lightened their tone, or at least cracked a good-natured smile. He gives no other indication to it as they walk, and simply picks a traveller's lodge that looks relatively clean. Cleaner than the rest of the dusty lodgings down this alley, anyway. And ruby red roses hang from the sign, which attracts him more than anything else.

“It’s much too late in the evening to be walking back to Town. I figure we can leave in the morning when there’s ample light.” He says as much as they approach the building. It’s odd though. They rent rooms by the hour rather than by the night here, and that visibly confuses Ravus. The keeper at the door arches a brow, looking between the pair like it should be obvious, but when Ravu’s stern expression doesn’t budge, she simply sighs and books them until morning. Maybe this world does things differently, it’s all Ravus can really imagine as they’re brought to a room.

Which is barely lit, and that also confuses him. It’s tinted warm and dark, with even the curtains already being drawn despite that fact the sun is still only setting. The heavy drapes certainly don’t look as if they’re meant to let one enjoy any outside light. The focal point of the room is clearly the ornate and broad bed, with little else in the way of furniture. The whole thing strikes Ravus as odd, but he doesn’t know why.

The woman bids them a good evening, leaving them alone, as Ravus sits himself on the edge of the bed with a confused tilt of his head.

“I cannot tell if it’s this town, or this entire world, that is quite so strange.”