Howling and Hollow (Cloud Catch-All)

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WHO: Cloud Strife and YOU
WHAT: What does your heart desire? (A place for planned threads outside prompts!) Cloud is settling in.
WHERE: Around Town and the outskirts, depending!
WHEN: A week or more after arrival, ongoing.
WARNINGS: Probable mentions of mental health struggles and trauma.

SUMMARY: A catch-all for Mister Final Fantasy! Here he is, trying to...Leave. Inevitably, he will be settling in, whether he likes it or not. What are those weird bumps hidden in that chocobo fluff hair? He fell and hit his head, probably.

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Cloud never made a huge fuss about Elidibus- but the man did confuse the hell out of the merc. Kindness on first sight is quite a thing. Awkward as he is, the blond is not well-equipped to respond to it. Or to a ball of energy. So he just did whatever came to mind. Awkwardly.

Not after long, the pair found themselves falling into a routine. Cloud would keep his eyes on the floor, or a counter, or anywhere but his coworker's own, giving a small wave back to the enthusiastic greetings. Sometimes, if he were feeling particularly adventurous, he would even mumble a quiet 'hey' back. He'd listen rather dutifully as the white-haired man spoke on and on with an enthusiasm that rang familiar enough to stir a strange pang in his chest. That excitement, and bubbliness reminds him of someone back home. Elidibus' willingness to teach him baking techniques for their shared job, or explain things about his home world...It felt nice. It made work, and life less lonely than the last few grueling months had been to Cloud. Even if Cloud's responses were brusque or short, he never cut the other man off.

As for the gifts Elidibus clearly left around... Cloud kept every single one. A loved food here, a trinket there, more than once he was left staring at the object with his jaw slightly slack. How did he know Cloud enjoyed these things? Or better yet, with some, how did Elidibus know it would be something he would like if given the chance to try? Cloud didn't talk anywhere near as much as the chatty fellow did. Was Angeal in on this, maybe?!

He'd finally worked up the nerve and confidence to put up a good front and thank Elidibus for the most recent gift. The script and everything rollins through his head on repeat as he walkes up to the bakery, only to find it stiflingly quiet. Elidibus wasn't there, their schedule interrupted, and Cloud Strife, worried. Even if he would never admit it. The first feeling of consistent normalcy, routine, and companionship in this world, gone in a flash. Just like his friends back home, he only realized he missed them when he was left alone once more.

The next day, it is with a surprising flicker of relief that he sees that now-familiar face come through the door. Yet something is distinctly off. He's quiet, blank-faced, flat.

After a few minutes of quietly kneading dough alongside the distant-seeming Elidibus, Cloud speaks up.

"...Weren't here yesterday."

[zodiheart]

Cloud's words cause Elidibus to slow in his kneading of the dough ever-so-slightly. The flicker of something passes through his dim eyes before snuffing out like the last candle of an evening put to rest. It is not surprising that Cloud noted his absence, no, but it is unusual for the other to comment on such things. Nothing Elidibus had done was with the expectation of any reciprocation, after all.

He deliberates, but ultimately truth beats deflection to the fore.

"When I awoke, I had forgotten where I was. It required the day to remind myself that I was still whole," the words are small, soft. Spoken so that even any others in the bakery would not hear, despite whatever augmentations they may have.

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There probably isn't a damn thing that could prepare Cloud for the answer he gets. Elidibus speaks so much more softly than he can ever remember hearing him, but the words are easily clear- and startlingly relatable. Something he never, ever thought would be relatable in his life.

"Ah-" a soft sound leaves the blond unbidden, blue eyes going wide. He flounders to gather his thoughts, figure out how to speak to the other in a way that makes sense and doesn't tear his entire image he thinks he's built apart.

"Memory problems?"

[zodiheart]

"If only that were the case." If it were memory alone, and not the slow coldness of reality, of what he had truly been through... well. It would have been simpler.

But Cloud clearly wants to know more, and Elidibus is too tired to deny him. Too scraped raw.

"There was a time when all of who I was had been taken from me. Pieces falling away, fading, cut out from the heart of who I had once been. And the worst part? I did not know what was lost until it had already been swept away, until all that was left was a hollowed void." A pause. "I did not lose what drove me, no, but... it was. Overwhelming."

His greatest fear, unspoken, hangs between them.

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Cloud looks on in stunned silence, managing a slight nod of the head while everything sinks in. There's so much he could say, maybe even wants to say, as what he never, ever expected to come to pass suddenly becomes reality. Someone, right in front of him, relates at least a little to the way he feels. Shattered. Missing pieces, not knowing fully who he is. There can't be a chance in hell it is the same problem from the same source, but even what Elidibus says now hits closer to home than anything ever has before.

"...Easy to forget who you are and never know it was gone. Then it all goes to shit when you do remember."

[zodiheart]

From what he remembers of Cloud's ordeal, he, too, has been through much in the way of altered memories. It is difficult to pull from the mire of his thoughts, but Elidibus manages to drag the knowledge from the thickest of the muck. The most unfortunate of similarities between the two of them, this.

"...and when it is returned, one cannot shake the fear that it shall slip away once more." The beating heart of his fear, whispered only so that Cloud may hear. He sighs. His hands press palm-down to the counter. This brittle feeling is one he does not enjoy, knowing how his strength is needed. But perhaps... something may come of it, this time.

"It appears we have much in common."