Howling and Hollow (Cloud Catch-All)

[relativefugue]

WHO: Cloud Strife and YOU
WHAT: What does your heart desire? (A place for planned threads outside prompts!) Cloud is settling in.
WHERE: Around Town and the outskirts, depending!
WHEN: A week or more after arrival, ongoing.
WARNINGS: Probable mentions of mental health struggles and trauma.

SUMMARY: A catch-all for Mister Final Fantasy! Here he is, trying to...Leave. Inevitably, he will be settling in, whether he likes it or not. What are those weird bumps hidden in that chocobo fluff hair? He fell and hit his head, probably.

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[silver_soldier]

"Yes." Sephiroth nods slightly. "When I was in the Lifestream...the consciousnesses of those I had killed made their presence known. Their grief, their rage...their suffering. They - made sure I experienced as much of it as could be communicated. And I couldn't begrudge them that. How could anyone?"

A pause. "But...I don't know that my pain lessened their own. It didn't ease their regrets, didn't right any wrongs that had been done. It was just...more pain. The time I experienced their suffering felt interminable, but...it passed. I don't know if they simply lost interest, or couldn't maintain focus to inflict prolonged torment, or if...perhaps they recognized that it served no useful purpose. All I know is that eventually, their pain faded, and I was left with only my own. But...it did feel pointless, in the end. Pain without purpose.

"The guilt I carry now...I don't carry it in self-indulgence. I carry it as a reminder of those I've hurt, those who have to carry their own weights because of me. I don't feel that I have the right to an unburdened life when I've dragged so many others down. But...if I can still find happiness beneath those burdens, then perhaps they can as well." He nods again, a bit more certain now. "Because you're right. Moving forward is the only way. Especially when there are so many who will help us shoulder the weight so that we can keep going."

[relativefugue]

Sephiroth's description of the pain he felt in the Lifestream is numbing. Perhaps if Cloud were home, he would feel some sort of smug satisfaction over it- that the man was getting what he deserved. But like this, it leaves the blond hollow. Especially as Sephiroth describes his realization that the cycle of suffering was pointless.

The resolve that then appears to wash over Sephiroth has a sort of satisfaction and...something light settling in Cloud's chest to flutter there. For a brief moment in time, Cloud swears he feels positive emotions in Sephiroth's presence for the first time in what feels like forever.

It will be a hell of a lot to unpack later. For now, he gazes at the hen in his lap with a barely-masked fondness.

"Finding good people will do that." A realization Cloud was approaching himself back home, before being sent here. He says it not only to Sephiroth, but to the both of them. Cloud only wishes with another pang that the others were here for such a realization to happen. He cannot believe he misses them, but their absence and the return to a lonely, aloof quiet in his life puts things into startling, inevitable perspective. At the very least, wildly, it seems Sephiroth wishes to help shoulder his own burdens- many of which were indeed caused by the silver himself. Yet more to unpack alone.

"...Don't expect the Buster Sword at your throat again, then. For now."

[silver_soldier]

Sephiroth's lips quirk, ever so slightly. "Did it ever get so far as my throat?" he asks, mildly. Is he teasing? Maybe a little bit. Don't give yourself too many airs, Cloud. Whether or not Sephiroth lives or dies isn't entirely dependent on Cloud's mercy. "But I appreciate the reprieve...for now."

A pause. "Would you like me to leave you with the chickens? I believe my presence here has accomplished everything Angeal could have hoped it might." And, rather more than that...Sephiroth feels as though he doesn't want to push his luck too far. Doesn't want to overstay his tenuous welcome with Cloud, or risk damaging the progress it feels like they've made. Better to pull back for a time, he thinks.

Besides, they've been talking about some very heavy subjects, and Sephiroth feels that both of them can only keep that up for so long before they need a break.

[relativefugue]

Cloud swears that had to be a genuine, lighthearted tease, which may be the most shocking thing of all over this entire fucking rollercoaster of a conversation. Perhaps it is just the contrast with every other time he's ever been taunted by the man- or, rather Jenova. "Yeah, well better watch it. I can take it back as fast as you get it. Make sure to get the throat."

That, from Cloud, is absolutely his own awkward tease back, even if the veiled threat isn't fully out of the realm of possibility just yet. The slight upward quirk of his lips and slouched pose give it away.

The blond is absolutely exhausted, and it truly sets in when thankfully, Sephiroth offers they part. Some quiet with the birds sounds much needed right now, and he can only imagine -

...He can imagine that Sephiroth is just as tired from speaking of these things. What kind of weird timeline is Cloud in now, where he offers enough grace to Sephiroth to think he's capable of being emotionally drained?

Whatever!

"...I think that's good. I still got work to do here for that meddling asshole anyway. You're distracting." Though his tone is brusque, Cloud's features remain softer. The tiny smile remains for a few seconds more, then fades. The overall whisper of softness doesn't go away until Sephiroth's form inevitably recedes from the chicken pen.

A single word leaves Cloud's lips, quietly, when the silver is far enough away that he figures he won't hear it. One that surprises him.

"Thanks."