Howling and Hollow (Cloud Catch-All)

[relativefugue]

WHO: Cloud Strife and YOU
WHAT: What does your heart desire? (A place for planned threads outside prompts!) Cloud is settling in.
WHERE: Around Town and the outskirts, depending!
WHEN: A week or more after arrival, ongoing.
WARNINGS: Probable mentions of mental health struggles and trauma.

SUMMARY: A catch-all for Mister Final Fantasy! Here he is, trying to...Leave. Inevitably, he will be settling in, whether he likes it or not. What are those weird bumps hidden in that chocobo fluff hair? He fell and hit his head, probably.

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[relativefugue]

Cloud can slowly feel himself coming back into full control of himself, the final remnants of the visions around him fading into nothingness like they'd never existed.

"There's no ifs about whether he's going to get what he deserves in my timeline. We will stop him. And then some."

As intially appealing as the idea of Hojo suffering intensely seems, Cloud, in his heart of hearts, knows that would serve nothing, just as Sephiroth mentioned. Yes, he does feel the same. Why create even more suffering to perpetuate a cycle Hojo already pushed along so much himself? Wishing for that makes one no better than the madman. He deserves a painful end, and needs to be stopped- not prolonged suffering, even if it would be poetic. Cloud is simply not a man who enjoys or does well when faced with the suffering of other human beings. Beneath the cool facade, he has a powerful sense of justice. Clearly something Sephiroth knows well.

As for the certainties...

"Not wanting them doesn't change if I need to know them or not. You're still..." Cloud pauses, making the realization in the midst of vocalizing his thought, "....Helping." He is. Sephiroth has been helping this entire time- just as he swore to. Impossibly, against every instinct and experience instilled in Cloud from home, Sephiroth is helping him. This mess makes it tangible. Touchable as the warm hand that remained so steady throughout his harrowing experience.

Those mako eyes dart away to focus on ...anything else. The gesture is almost sheepish.

"So thanks."

[silver_soldier]

Even more than the gratitude...being told that he's actually helping, and in particular that he's helping Cloud - someone he, or something wearing his face, has done so much harm to - means so much to Sephiroth that his breath actually catches when he hears the words. Guilt, regret, shame, helplessness...those feelings have been so much of his life. Long before Jenova.

He'd managed to help people, it's true, even in ShinRa. Other SOLDIERs. Civilians. Friends. This isn't the first time he's ever felt as though he's made a positive difference. But...it's certainly never been as much of his life as he would have liked. This feeling that maybe things are better because he exists.

He can never undo what's been done in his name, with his body, but...perhaps he can in fact make things better for the people he's harmed. And this is the first truly tangible proof of that. And, for the first time...his continued existence doesn't feel quite so selfish.

"I'm glad," he says, faintly. And even in those two words, his voice almost breaks.

[relativefugue]

Cloud was already starting to think of his strategic retreat, much like a wounded cat trying to slink away and hide...

...But the raw, genuine emotions that he sees and hears on Sephiroth from his expression of thanks knock the breath out of him momentarily. For a time, Cloud cannot tear his eyes from Sephiroth's- this is perhaps the first time the merc holds prolonged eye contact with him since they started interacting in this strange new world. His lips part in an expression of shock, but also almost wonder.

Cloud Strife is left to just take that in for a few silent beats. To let it sink in just how much helping him truly means to his hero. To someone he thought long dead.

...Clearly, he's compromised. Clearly, he needs to slink off and process all of this. Alone. Where the silver cannot continue to see the gentle, vague pink that dusts his warm cheeks.

"It's fine," Cloud manages, in a voice much smaller than he would have liked. It's soft, clearly the blonde's gentleness coming through. Always when he tries to stifle it with a stone-cold mask. He takes a step back, and turns away, regarding Sephiroth over his shoulder once that magnetic eye contact finally breaks.

"...See you around. Got jobs to hit."

He departs rather immediately after, mind alight with thoughts both shocked...and a little flustered.