"It's like that, trying to get the ball into the goal... but with less skill and technique and more shoving and brawling. There's always one or a dozen morons who overdo it, which is why I always snuck out once it got too rowdy."

He carefully balances the ball on the tip of his nose, which distracts him from getting too worked up about sports games long past.

"I'm less of a wimp now, but I still don't like that kind of game. Or the one where you chase a wheel of cheese down a mountain. Nobody's caught that stupid thing in years; I don't know why we keep doing it."